What do you think about loneliness?
Answer by an anonymous psychologist
I am speaking from my experience. So, this answer is completely biased. Handling loneliness can be difficult but not impossible.
I have almost been a loner throughout my whole life by choice but I have realized, the more I pushed myself to become extroverted, the lonelier I felt.
Sometimes being among the wrong people made me feel lonelier than I already was.
Sometimes I tried so hard to fit in and get along with people just because I was hungry for friends. Even though I sometimes fit in the groups, something didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel that I was being me. So I finally gave up my desire to have friends.
People with whom I bonded easily didn’t bother to message me after I stopped messaging them. Because of that reason, I have trust issues and I hesitate to be close friends with someone easily. It hurts when they ignore me.
Being in a social circle where none understands you can be the loneliest feeling in the world.
Over the years, I have concluded that
“People can’t be cured of my loneliness.”
Loneliness is the feeling, not just a mere absence of people in my life.
Just because I am alone, it doesn’t mean I am lonely.
Loneliness and People
Loneliness has nothing to do with people. Most of the time, we feel lonely not because we lack real bonds and connections in our life, but we lack self-love and compassion.
Sometimes, we feel lonely because we don’t value ourselves. We constantly try to find someone to lean on instead of spending time with ourselves and treating ourselves right.
Sometimes, we desperately want someone to love us even though we don’t love ourselves enough.
When we depend on receiving love from others to feel worthy of ourselves, we inflict pain and loneliness in our life.
We can only overcome loneliness truly by loving ourselves before others. When we feel like a person who is worthy of love and respect, we truly liberate ourselves.
Loneliness won’t have any space in our life if we love and value ourselves
We can’t ask someone to be each other cure for loneliness. Most of the time, people who don’t love themselves enough can’t love anyone truly. It’s selfish and cruel to be with someone just because you are lonely. You can’t return love when you don’t have it enough for yourself.
Our relationship with ourselves causes loneliness, not the absence of people. People come and go and if we learn to care for ourselves, the absence of people in our life won’t make us feel lonely but will give us hope that someday somebody will understand our worth and treat us the way, we deserve to be treated.
Learn to love yourself. Take yourself on a date. Buy yourself flowers. Paint. Dance your tears away. Keep a journal. Do everything in your power to please yourself and I can assure you, the absence of people in your life won’t ever hurt you or make you feel lonely.
You shouldn’t welcome negative people in your life just because you are lonely. If you are true to yourself, one day you will find someone with whom you can be yourself without worrying.
People aren’t a cure for loneliness, self-love is.